Max Bottaro

How Complaining and Blaming will end up Ruining you

First and foremost, no one likes a whiner. Have you ever had that friend who just complained about everything? How his knee hurt, he was sick, or his job sucks? They probably got old quick.

Secondly, people have their own problems to worry about. They really don’t care that your boss is a douche. If you’ve ever come home from a long day and had someone start complaining to you about their life, you know what I am talking about. It’s just annoying. You might humor them a little: “Oh really? That sucks… I feel you man” but deep down you just wanted to change the subject. I think what it really boils down to is being egotistical- are you really so important that people should care about your minuscule problems?

3^rd- Complaining doesn’t solve anything. You might get some sympathy, but do you really want to be someone people pity? When I was younger my grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He had every right to complain, but when we visited him for the last time he never mentioned it. My last childhood memories of him were fond; he seemed like a strong, concerted man. We flew kites went to the movies, despite the fact that he was probably thinking about death. I’m not saying you have to be a robot, but it’s really impressive and respectable when people carry weight like that by themselves. It’s inspiring. You can be inspiring or pitiable. The choice is yours.

4^th- I can’t explain this, but when you complain about stuff it seems to draw more negativity into your life. By focusing on the negative, you become a bit of a shit magnet… it’s almost like the universe says “hmm… here is an individual who likes to obsess and talk about the negativity in their life. Well, let’s give him what he wants…” Plop. The universe drops another deuce on you. It’s like this with any habit- if you look at a heavy drug user, all their friends are stoners and junkies, their walls and coffee tables are covered in drug paraphernalia , they smell and talk like drug users. Whiners draw negativity into their lives the same way- by focusing on it obsessively.

5^th- blaming takes your power away. My professor is an asshole, that’s why I got a bad grade. My boss just doesn’t like me, that’s why I am not getting promoted. When you attribute your loss to something outside your control, you are basically telling yourself “there was nothing I could or can do, I am powerless to these external forces.” You are not. You are not lifeless tumbleweed subject to the foul winds of fate. Start asking your brain HOW instead of why? How can I get a better grade. How can I make some money. I hear a lot of people say “life isn’t fair!” like that’s a bad thing. Thank God life isn’t fair! If it was we would all be forced to live the same way, there would be no opportunity to move up.

So here’s what I suggest- stop complaining for 10 days. Just ten days and see if your life doesn’t improve dramatically. I stopped complaining about 2 months ago, and I have had drastically less to complain about. Next time you catch yourself complaining, yell “Stop It!”.