Max Bottaro

Recall a beautiful scene in your life, maybe it was a sunset or a beach- a scene so beautiful and awe inspiring that for a few short minutes you were transported to a place of utter serenity. What happened? What happened was, in that short instance, you accepted whatever was presented to you without reservation. You were not looking to make changes. You didn’t say ‘that tree is beautiful, but some of the branches are crooked… if I had a chainsaw I could lop off a few branches and make it perfect. That rainbow is beautiful, but a little to the left…. If I could just move it a few hundred yards to the right, then the scene would be better.’ This isn’t what you thought. The tree was crooked, and it was perfect. The rainbow was asymmetrical, and it was perfect. You were ok with things the way they were- and for a few minutes you were utterly happy.

-Dr. Srikumar Rao

Why be happy and content with life? First of all, it’s subjectively more pleasant. Being happy is better for your health too- various studies link stress and discontent with heart disease and cancer. It is also in this mind state that you will be most productive and creative in doing whatever it is you do.

Some people have an issue with just being happy- “how can I be happy if I haven’t yet accomplished what I set out to accomplish?” This common mindset is based on a universal, but inherently broken model: I need to get something, so that I can do something, so that I can be something: I need to get money, so I can have fancy things, so I can impress people and be happy. I need to get a promotion, so I can have more respect, so I can be happy. Virtually everything we do in life is in the pursuit of happiness. Justify any action you took today. It was probably so you could get something, so you could do something, so you could be something (happy). We think in the Future- “if X”, “then happiness”- but we exist in the present.

This model is in the pursuit of happiness, and it is a fundamentally flawed model. You will always be in the pursuit of happiness and you will never arrive. If you believe happiness comes from getting something, doing something, or being something, then you will never accept happiness. You already have the ability to be happy; you were born with it. Happiness is innate. It is in your DNA.

We believe we can’t be happy because we buy into the “get something, do something, be something” happiness model with every ounce of our being, not realizing that real happiness and serenity is right in front of us. Here is an example from Dr. Srikumar Rao: “recall a beautiful scene in your life, maybe it was a sunset or a beach- a scene so beautiful and awe inspiring that for a few short minutes you were transported to a place of utter serenity. What happened? What happened was, in that short instance, you accepted whatever was presented to you without reservation. You were not looking to make changes. You didn’t say ‘that tree is beautiful, but some of the branches are crooked… if I had a chainsaw I could lop off a few branches and make it perfect. That rainbow is beautiful, but a little to the left…. If I could just move it a few hundred yards to the right, then the scene would be better.’ This isn’t what you thought. The tree was crooked, and it was perfect. The rainbow was asymmetrical, and it was perfect. You were ok with things the way they were.” When you accept your current conditions unreservedly, when you acknowledge life without disdain, that is where happiness occurs.

Your life, the one that you are so sure is full of problems and frustration, is perfect the way it is. The only thing stopping you from serenity and happiness is that you are discontent with things. You desperately crave change.

By “accepting life unreservedly” I am not suggesting you become complacent and stop trying. Certainly change and growth is healthy and necessary; but you want to make life changes from a place of wholeness and serenity, not because life is so awful you simply can’t stand it anymore. In this way life becomes a series of fulfilling travels and experiences, not a struggle to get out of a current situation, and “into a better one”. Perfection is impossible, it can never be achieved. Yet perfection is already presented to us—the beautiful sunset with the crooked tree and the asymmetrical rainbow.